CATCHING A DREAM
A few weeks ago, I awoke from my dream in the middle of the night, excited that I remembered what exactly the dream was about. I had the urge to just jump out of my bed to write it down before I forget. Then the other part of me got greedy to want to go deeper into that dream. So I went back to sleep, hoping to get back into the dream. By the time I woke up in the morning, all I remembered was myself trying hard to catch that dream in the middle of the night but I had completely forgotten the dream by the second time I woke up. That somehow irritated me for a couple of days following.
A friend of mine was having a conversation about dreams some time back and she mentioned that she always make it a point to try to make herself remember about the dream as soon as she wake up from it before the dream fades away. I guess I did it the first time round. Unfortunately, the second time round, the "act of catching the dream" had become the dream afterall. Next time round, I'll make sure that I will just wake up in time to catch it while it's still alive and vivid in my mind.
REASONING
There ought to be a better reason for me to do something than because I need to do it.
But if I were to say that because "I like it", is it not enough?
If I do not believe in it, how can I make myself believe that I can do it? Is it a just a matter of confidence? I do not think so. The conversation with my professor the other day just made me ponder and wonder if architecture is really for me. Not that I do not believe that I cannot design, it is just that sometimes I just cannot make myself accept the fact that I have to do all those presentations just to make somebody understand what I am thinking.
Not that I do not know that that is the whole theory about COMMUNICATION. There is no need for communication if the other person happens to lie in the exact frequency as me. We can just live comfortably in silence.
I do, I do...understand all these theories! BUT, sometimes, its just so hard for me to convince myself that there ought to be a better reason than that.
As much as I am a self-confessed hermit, I do love to hold conversations with people. I like to talk to people because I like to know them a little better. But I am just bad at socializing. I know, I know..that I ought to change my state of mind..but sometimes..it's justset out that way...especially at times of frustrations...
